I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
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We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
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Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize