i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
you never un-have a 4some
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
