garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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