Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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