I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
