..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
