Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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