you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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