Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
