how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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