i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
