How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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