I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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