what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
