If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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