In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My dick has a subreddit
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
