We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
