i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
