No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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