Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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