i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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