Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize