Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
