If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
