OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
