You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize