Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
