It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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