3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
