next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
