Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
