we have officially lost it.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
