So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
