It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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