last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
