Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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