3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
