we're chasing vodka with high fives
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
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