u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He felt like a one man threesome
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Found the puke drawer
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
