i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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