If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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