i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
