They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
