Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
