fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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