oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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