we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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