i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
