You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
