You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
