Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
