So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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