sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
