I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
