should my penis look like a turkey
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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