Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
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I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
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hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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